Diabetes Adventures, Pregnancy with Diabetes

First Appointment with MFM

Diana Barreto

Due to being pregnant with Type 1 Diabetes, it automatically qualified me to be referred to a Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) Specialist (oh the joy of having so many appointments!). They are basically in charge of ensuring that the baby is growing appropriately and that the mom (me) is taking care of themselves and doing what they are supposed to do to ensure the baby grows healthy and strong.

Well….let me tell you about my first encounter with an MFM.

My appt was scheduled at 11:30am so I made sure I was off work from 10:30am-1:30pm to allow me time to drive to my appointment, be seen, have/eat lunch and return to work. My husband was off work that day so he went with me to my appointment.

Side note: The doctor’s office was about a 30 minute drive from our house (I work from home).

We get to the office, for the first time, around 11:10am as I was told over the phone to arrive at least 15 minutes early to complete the necessary paperwork. The girl at the front desk said I came a bit too early and that she would give me the paperwork at 11:20am. As it was my first time in their office, I didn’t say anything, I didn’t protest and just said, “okay.”BUT I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I should have said something but I ignored it and my husband and I sat down in the waiting room.

The receptionist finally called my name and gave me the necessary paperwork at 11:25am. IT WAS A BIG PACKET with at least 10 pages that I had to complete, fill out and sign. I whispered to my husband, “They could have totally given this to me right when I came so that when I was done, it was 11:30am.” I do my best to complete the paperwork as soon as possible and turn everything in. About 30 minutes later, I finally get called back and they weigh me and check my blood pressure. We then enter a room and was told they would do an ultrasound. Ultrasound gets completed (we get to see baby and hear their heartbeat which was so surreal and heartwarming) and then we are asked to return to the waiting room to wait to see the MFM.

It was about 12:15pm and we were still waiting to be seen by the MFM. I started to get super nervous as I had to return to work by 1:30pm and still eat lunch and remember, the doctor’s office was about a 30 minute drive.

I go to the receptionist and ask how much longer to be seen and she said she was unsure. That didn’t help at all but I thanked her and returned to my seat. I then started to silently cry as I was super anxious (I hate being late to work and I don’t like not being able to follow through with what I say) and my husband notices and tells me that everything was going to be okay. It was now 12:45pm and I was STILL waiting to be seen by the MFM. I then message my office manager that I was still at my doctor appointment and probably wouldn’t return to work until maybe 2pm and I would update my time off request to reflect the additional time I took off; luckily it wasn’t an issue and they said they would reschedule my patients.

The fact that I had to do that, still didn’t sit well with me. I was super tempted to just cancel the MFM appt and reschedule it but it didn’t feel right doing that because I wanted to make sure the baby was okay and that I was informed/educated on what I needed to do to ensure baby continued to be okay. I cried some more and finally got myself together as this other patient in the waiting room started talking to me and my husband and the conversation with her helped distract me.

I finally got called back around 1:10pm. My husband and I are escorted to a small office and proceed to wait for the MFM for a few more minutes. She walks in, sits down and gets down to business.

Side note: I don’t mind getting straight to business, I prefer it as a provider myself BUT there is still something called “bedside manner” and getting to know the patient especially if it is the FIRST time meeting them.

She sees that I have diabetes Type 1 and asks me about my pump settings. She asks about my basal rate and I tell her and she looks at me, raises her eyebrows and asks “all day?” In that split second, I think to myself “is that bad? Is my basal setting too high? Too low?” and I respond, “yes.”She proceeds to write it down and then asks about my carb ratio and I tell her and she looks at me, raises her eyebrows and again asks “all day?” In that split second, I think to myself “Okay, what the fuck is her problem? I feel judged” and I respond, “yes.” She then writes it down.

She then asks me what I am eating for breakfast, I tell her and she replies, “No, you can’t do that anymore, you have to eat (she then tells me what I should eat).” I said “okay, I can do that.” She then asks what I eat for lunch, I tell her and she replies, “No, you can’t do that anymore, you have to eat (she then tells me what I should eat).” I said “okay, I can do that” while thinking, “Oh em gee, I don’t like this lady at all!” She then asks me what I eat for dinner, I tell her and she replies, “No, you can’t do that anymore, you have to eat (she then tells me what I should eat).” I said “okay” while thinking, “Oh em gee, fuck this lady! My blood sugars are controlled and in range, why do I need to change how I am eating?!” She then asks what I eat/drink when I have low blood sugars and I reply that I take 1/2 glucose tablet and she replies, “No, don’t do that anymore. I want you to drink 8 oz of milk instead.” I tell her that we never buy milk and I rarely if ever drink milk and that the glucose tablets seem to do the trick as it levels me out and doesn’t cause me to go high and she just said, “Drink the 8oz of milk instead, don’t do glucose tablets anymore.”

Mind you, she NEVER asked me about my recent A1C (which at that time was 6.1) nor did she ask how my blood sugars were before or after meals.

As this appointment progressed, I started getting snippy and giving attitude because I was NOT liking the way she was speaking to me. I found my voice and started to talk back, I started to disagree with her, I started to tell her how I was doing it and how it was working out for me.

I know she could tell that I wasn’t liking her so she started making small jokes here and there. I never smiled, smirked or laughed and just stared at her. I was over it. She had lost me. She had already done too much damage and for me, there was no going back. I had already decided in my head that she was not someone that I wanted to meet with or work with throughout my pregnancy.

She said she wanted to see me back in one week for a blood sugar check and I said okay. I accepted the advice/tips/suggestions she offered.and thanked her for her time. My husband and I went back to the front desk and as they were scheduling me a follow up appointment, I asked who the doctor would be and the said it would be with the same doctor and I told them, “No, I don’t want to see her. I want to see someone else.” The receptionist looked at me with a weird look on her face and she said, “Okay, you’ll be seen by” and gave me another doctor’s name and I said thank you.

We walked out of the office and about 5 seconds later, I started to cry uncontrollably (as I am writing this a knot forms in my throat with just thinking back to the experience). I couldn’t hold it all in anymore and just cried. My husband and I stopped walking and we just stood in the middle of the hallway. I was crying and he was holding me in his arms and he said, “That was overwhelming, I felt overwhelmed too. My head hurts.” I was able to finally stop crying after 1-2 minutes and we walked to the car. I cried again in the car and vented to my husband why I felt so judged and hurt. I shared with him that the ENTIRE appointment was a chain of small events that accumulated.

Side note: I had only ate breakfast as I thought I would have lunch by 1pm or so, so I was probably hangry as well. I didn’t have any snacks/food on me either. I ended up messaging my office manager (right before the MFM walked in) that I wouldn’t start work until 3pm so that I could have time to eat something before returning to work.

While my husband and I were driving back home he mentioned that he noticed I gave the doctor attitude and he chuckled and says, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you act that way before.” I chuckled as well and said, “Well yeah! That lady was a bitch! I didn’t like the way she was talking to me and how judgmental she was!”My husband replied, “She seemed like a nice lady though, she was trying to make you laugh but you weren’t having it.” I replied, “She might be a nice person but she was not a good doctor. She made me feel horrible and that I wasn’t doing good enough and probably just assumed that I wasn’t doing what I should and that pissed me off!”

Needless to say, to this day, I haven’t seen her since then (not even in the hallways of the office) and I always make sure I am seeing another doctor and while I am scheduling a follow up appointment if they tell me that the appointment is with her, I tell them, “I don’t want to see her, please give me another appointment” and they do (thank goodness!).

(I just had to take a deep breath because man oh man!)

Doctors can have a ton of experience, yes, they went to school, yes, their years in medical school was grueling, yes but that doesn’t negate the fact that YOU know YOUR body and that YOU might know what is best/better for YOU.

Moral of the story: ALWAYS STAND UP FOR YOURSELF & ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF

Diabetes Adventures, Pregnancy with Diabetes

Update 2 – 2023

Diana Barreto

Please read update 1 so you don’t feel lost!

We decided to surprise them!

We get in our cars (my sister and mom in my sister’s car and I drove in my car) and dropped off my car at my house.

We then drove to the restaurant and luckily found my dad pretty quickly.

As we walk up to him, he looks over and all surprised goes, “Oh wow! Hi!” We say, “Surprise!” My dad chuckles and hugs each of us. I ask where my husband is and he said he’s in the bathroom.

We engage in small talk and then my husband comes to the table and was also surprised and said hello to everyone.

I am LEGIT nervous and thinking to myself, “How, when, what do I say?”

A few minutes pass by and I see my mom looking at me asking with her eyes, “When are you going to tell them?” I finally muster up the courage and say, “Ok, so we have some news.” I look at my dad and I look at my husband. I then said, “We’re pregnant!” My dad lets out a laugh and huge smile and I look at my husband and he just looks shocked and asked, “Are you serious?” I said, “Yeah!” He replies, “Are you messing with me?” I reply, “No! I’m serious!” And proceed to show him the picture of the two pregnancy tests I took and after a few seconds he goes, “No way!” He hugs me and I start crying happy tears (naturally, LOL). My mom gets teary-eyed too and we’re just rejoicing in the good and surprising news.

We have a great rest of the night and even danced (my mom and I as my sister had left to go home and my husband and dad were still eating their dinner) when the restaurant’s nightclub opened.

To say it was a perfect day, is an understatement.

Again, I never thought I would find out I was pregnant with my mom and sister with me. And that I could tell my husband and dad at the same time.

All in all, a great night to remember.

The news was surprising as I had been off birth control for 1 year and we had been trying but not like actually trying to get pregnant. So neither of us thought we would get pregnant when we did. We both thought it wouldn’t happen till the end of 2023 but life/God had their own plan.

Towards the end of 2022, it was starting to take an emotional toll on me as I would see other friends get pregnant or would see on social media others I knew posting their pregnancy announcements and as happy as I would be for them, I couldn’t help but think, “When will it happen for us?” Even though I would think that way, I also knew that as a person with Type 1 Diabetes, my A1C needed to be at a certain number before I was “allowed” to get pregnant. So two competing mindsets and both were emotionally and mentally challenging.

I was told my A1C (a number that indicates what your sugars average the past three months) needed to be at least a 6.5 before we started trying to get pregnant. Before we found out we were pregnant, my A1C was a 6.8 (October 2022). I was definitely doing my best to bring that number down as I knew it had to be at least a 6.5. And that is what I kept telling myself to bring my spirits up whenever I felt sad. I would tell myself, “I get more time to work on myself, my diabetes management and to lower my A1C.” For the most part, that helped and I would also lean on my friends, sister, husband and mom when I needed emotional/social support.

We found out we were pregnant on 1/7/23. On 1/10/23, I did lab work and my A1C was a 6.3!!!! I was super freaking happy cause it meant my hard work had paid off and my A1C was where it needed to be.

As happy as we were (and still are) about being pregnant, the good news has often been overshadowed by my Type 1 Diabetes.

For anyone battling a chronic illness, I know firsthand that it is NOT easy, it is emotionally and mentally taxing and can easily rob you of your happiness. BUT, you cannot let it have that much power over you.

You are more than your chronic illness.

Diabetes Adventures, Pregnancy with Diabetes

Update 1 – 2023

Diana Barreto

Hi! I haven’t posted anything in a while and I apologize! Things have been crazy, but in a good way. I finally was able to make time to post an update!

On Jan 7, 2023 I spent time with my sister and mom. Since my sister and I moved out of our parent’s home last year, it was very rare that only the three of us spend time together. Usually dad is with us or the whole family is together (my husband and my sister’s boyfriend included).

My sister drove us around that day and I had asked for us to stop by CVS as I needed to pick up my insulin and test strips. We parked at the pharmacy and I noticed the pharmacy was closed.

We were getting back into the car and I said “let’s get a pregnancy test.” My sister and mom said “okay, sure.” The reason as to why this didn’t come as a surprise to them was because my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past year. I’ve taken a few pregnancy tests throughout the past year and they had been negative.

We (I) buy a two pack and head home.

Now, I had ZERO indications that I was pregnant. I literally just felt like taking one and expected it to be negative.

I pee on the stick, set it on the table in the bathroom, set a 3 minute timer and joined my sister and mom in my mom’s room. Timer ends and we all walk to the bathroom together.

Two lines are visible….meaning I was pregnant.

My sister immediately starts to inspect the packaging and starts reading the instruction booklet that came within the box. She asks, “Did you take it right?” I said, “Yes, you literally just pee on the stick.” My sister replies, “is it expired?” and checks the packaging. It is nowhere near the expiration date. My sister says, “take it again.” My mom chimes in and says “I want to see!” So there I am….in the bathroom…peeing on a stick…while my sister and mom are staring at me. I set the pregnancy test on the table and in less than 30 seconds, two lines appear again.

We all start crying happy tears and process the result of the pregnancy test.

I found out I was pregnant in the best way and in a way I never imagined would be possible, with my sister and my mom at my side.

My husband and dad had spent the day at our house as they were remodeling and fixing some things. I call my husband and do my best to act all cool and nonchalant and ask what they’re up to. He said they’re waiting for a table to eat dinner. I tell him I’m still with my mom and sister and he says “ok baby, enjoy” and we hang up.

I look at my mom and sister and say, “Should we surprise them?”

Awareness

World Diabetes Day

Diana Barreto

November 14, 2022

Today is World Diabetes Day.

A reminder that diabetes does not discriminate.

A reminder that diabetes happens in all corners of the world.

A reminder that diabetes affects all ages.

A reminder that diabetes affects all genders.

A reminder that diabetes affects all social economic statuses.

A reminder that diabetes exists.

World Diabetes day is every year on November 14 which is the birthday of Sir Frederick Banting who co-discovered insulin along with Charles Best in 1922.

Prior to 1922, half of the people who received a diabetes diagnosis died within 2 years and more than 90% were dead within 5 years.

100 years ago, insulin was discovered.

100 years ago, insulin was first used to treat a person with diabetes.

100 years ago, insulin transformed the treatment of diabetes.

For the past 100 years, millions of people have been able to live life to the fullest.

The discoverers sold the patent for $1 each so it could be accessible to all.

Since the 1990s, the cost of insulin has increased over 1,200%.

https://www.t1international.com/usa/

When I did not have insurance, one vial of Humalog insulin cost me $300.00 USD (I live in Southern California in Los Angeles County for reference as insulin costs vary across states and countries).

One vial lasts me about 2 weeks. So if I weren’t able to afford insurance or get insurance, I would be paying about $600 USD per month.

For one year of insulin, I would have to pay about $7,200 USD

Next month (December), marks my 3rd anniversary with Type 1 Diabetes.

If I didn’t have insurance the past 3 years, I would have paid about $21,600 USD.

The $21,600 would NOT have included my primary care doctor visits, lab work that should be done every 3 months, my visit to the endocrinologist, the supplies I need to give myself insulin (either an insulin pen or insulin pump (which requires more supplies), my supplies for my meter (lancets, test strips), or glucose tablets/foods to help increase low blood sugars.

Living with diabetes is costly, in every sense of the word. There are many people who ration their insulin because they can’t afford to pay it and many have died because of it.

The cost of production for a vial of insulin averages to about $4.93 USD

Bringing awareness to diabetes is important to me and as I continue to learn more about my chronic illness, it is saddening learning about the hard and dark truths.

I am beyond grateful for having a good paying job, for having insurance, for living in a city that has primary care doctors and endocrinologists, for living in a city that has a pharmacy nearby, for having access to the resources I need to not only survive, but to thrive.

I don’t take what I have for granted and my heart breaks for those who have to ration their insulin, for those who live in underdeveloped countries, for those who don’t have insurance, for those who don’t have access to the care they need to live.

#insulin4all

Awareness

November is National Diabetes Awareness Month!

Diana Barreto

Happy November 1st peeps! 🙂

Even though I have been a diabetic since 2010, I didn’t become fully aware of National Diabetes Awareness Month until last year, 2021.

For a decade, I shied away from anything that was diabetes related. I didn’t want to associate myself with diabetes, being a diabetic, never told any friends or extended family that I had diabetes and never posted anything on social media about it.

I wanted to live life diabetes free and I truly did live like I wasn’t a diabetic. I rarely if ever checked my blood sugar, I was inconsistent with doctor visits, I was inconsistent with lab work, I was inconsistent with my diabetes care and almost always lied to my immediate family about how my diabetes was going.

I started therapy in the beginning of 2018 but we didn’t get to talking about my diabetes until the beginning of 2020. That is how much I avoided talking about my diabetes.

One of the main reasons I started (reluctantly) talking about my diabetes in therapy was because I had gotten engaged to my now husband. My husband and I met in June 2018 and we went on our first date 3 months later.

(I honestly cannot remember when exactly I told him that I was a diabetic)

I had kept my diabetes diagnosis a dark secret for so long and kept doing my best to ignore it that it wasn’t something that was at the forefront of my mind. Fast forward to mid-November 2019, I was at the endocrinologist office and was told that I might have to go to the Emergency Room because my blood sugar was critically high. I cried to the nurse and said I wanted to do everything possible to avoid going to the Emergency Room and she said she needed to consult with my doctor. I called my boyfriend (my now husband) crying and told him the news. He, luckily, had got off work early so he was able to go to the doctor’s office and meet me.

At that time, we both worked for the same hospital and one of the reasons I didn’t want to go to the ER was because that is where my co-workers and his co-workers worked. I didn’t want my deep dark secret to be exposed/shared with others because it wasn’t something that I had truly been open about with my boyfriend.

After spending a good amount of time at the doctor’s office and after an insulin shot, they felt comfortable letting me go home but urged my boyfriend to take me to the hospital if my sugars rose again.

To this day, I am lucky enough to say that I haven’t needed to be hospitalized but that is not the case for many others who have diabetes.

On December 17, 2019, I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type 1.

On Dec 27, 2019, I got engaged to my now husband.

In therapy, I discovered that I never allowed myself to grieve the life I had lost. The life of a non-diabetic. I never accepted the fact that things had changed or that I needed to accept this new life and learn how to live it.

Diabetes is not an easy diagnosis to live with. If you are managing your diabetes, it requires your 24/7, 365 days/year attention. You’re not allowed to take breaks, you can’t not think about it, and the roller coaster of blood sugar levels can be emotionally and mentally draining.

The fact that I had not managed my diabetes definitely put a strain on my relationship. It put a strain on our relationship because I wasn’t open about it, I didn’t want help with it, I didn’t know how to verbalize what type of support I needed, and I didn’t know how to properly manage my diabetes which caused high blood sugars. When someone experiences high blood sugars, these are the common early symptoms:

  • Frequent urination
  • Increased thirst
  • Blurred vision
  • Feeling weak or unusually tired

And if it goes untreated, you can experience the following symptoms:

  • Fruity-smelling breath
  • Dry mouth
  • Abdominal pain
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Shortness of breath
  • Confusion
  • Loss of consciousness

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hyperglycemia/symptoms-causes/syc-20373631

When I experienced some of the above symptoms, I was not someone you wanted to be around. I managed to hide how I felt at work and not lash out but with my family and boyfriend, it could get ugly. Ugly in the sense that I felt too tired, got easily frustrated, felt like I was in a fog and had no motivation for anything and got angry easily.

Being the older sister and not having any brothers, I felt like I put it upon myself to carry my family if my dad was at work. I was the one who killed the spiders, I was the one who drove my mom and sister around, I was the one who stepped up. Because of this mentality, I never wanted to be a burden for anyone.

Therapy helped my realize that I wasn’t a burden for needing help or wanting help but I could become a burden if I never asked for help and/or support.

Therapy helped me realized that I couldn’t do it alone and if I truly wanted to marry the man I was engaged to and be with him forever, I needed to let him in and see the parts I didn’t want to face by myself. I needed to lean on him, I needed to ask him for support and I needed to be vulnerable with him.

We’ve now been married for 1 year and almost 4 months and I am grateful that I took that leap of faith and shared with him my deep dark secret.

I told him today was National Diabetes Awareness Month and he replied “Happy National Diabetes Awareness Month babe.” For me, that meant the world and it put a big smile on my face.

For anyone struggling, I see you. I’ve been there. You can and will get through this. Lean on your support system and if you don’t have anyone, look to TikTok or Instagram as you can find amazing and supportive people on there that have the same thoughts and fears as you do.

Happy November 1st!

Happy National Diabetes Awareness Month!

May be an image of text that says 'I MAY HAVE DIABETES... BUT DIABETES DOES NOT HAVE ME'
May be an image of text that says 'FOR THOSE FIGHTING A BATTLE THAT LEAVES YOU TIRED THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND AWAKE AT NIGHT. WITH NO PREVENTION OR CURE THAT DEMANDS YOUR TIME, ENERGY AND STRENGTH. WITH FINGERS WORN AND YOUR HEART TORN. JUST KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE KEEP FIGHTING! FIGH thediabeticjourn'
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May be an image of text that says 'When all you wanna do is sleep but your blood sugar is 68 with an arrow down C Cheddar Cm'
May be an image of text that says 'Vhen you feel really confident about our carb counting, then test later or and you're really high... WHAT?! ...COME ON!!!'
May be an image of text that says 'THAT MOMENT YOU HAVE A LOW BLOOD SUGAR AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DYING. YOU THEN REALIZE HOW STRONG YOU ARE BY FINDING THE STRENGTH το PULL IT TOGETHER, SAVE YOUR OWN LIFE, AND To CARRY ON. -The Diabetic Journey'
Pregnancy with Diabetes

Hospital Day 1 – Birth Story continued

Diana Barreto

Monday, July 24, 2023

As soon as the nurse told me I wasn’t leaving until I was delivering my son, I texted my husband to tell him and he replied back if he could be with me as at this point, he was still in the waiting room. I then asked the nurse and she said they were going to be admitting me and he could meet us in the hallway.

I wanted so badly to let my parents know but they had just left for Mexico a few days before and I didn’t want to worry them so I decided to not say anything for now.

I then had to text my friend to let her know I wasn’t going to be there for my goddaughter’s baptism and explained why. She was the sweetest and understood and sent me pictures afterward.

We got situated in the hospital room and I remember feeling sad, confused, worried, anxious and upset.

  • Sad – I felt sad that I wasn’t going to be there for my goddaughter’s baptism. I felt sad that I needed to cancel the maternity photo shoot that was scheduled to take place in less than two weeks. I was sad that I wouldn’t be home to decorate the nursery and go through all the baby clothes, toys, towels, etc.
  • Confused – How was I going to stay in the hospital for 6.5 weeks? How/why did my water break? What does that mean for me? What does that mean for my son?
  • Worried – I still had one week left of work and was scheduled to see patients the rest of the week and had unfinished notes. How was I going to finish my notes? What are my remaining patients going to be told? How am I going to know how to do labor as I never took any classes? How do I tell my parents?
  • Anxious – How was I going to stay in the hospital for 6.5 weeks? How was labor going to go? I didn’t take any classes as they were scheduled in two weeks so how am I going to know what to do?
  • Upset – I felt upset that I wasn’t going to be there for my goddaughter’s baptism. I felt upset that I needed to stay at the hospital. I was upset that I wasn’t prepared for this.

I decided to let my little sister know and I asked her what she thought about telling our parents about me being hospitalized and she suggested I say something as they would want to know. I knew she was right but needed confirmation it was the right thing to do.

I text my parents and of course my mom was worried. I told her I was okay, Xavier was okay and we were just waiting. I convinced my mom to not fly back and that I would keep her updated daily.

I convinced my husband to head home as he worked the night shift and we had two dogs at home that needed to be taken care of so he reluctantly went home.

The nurses were super nice, personable, informative and reassuring and that was extremely helpful.

I remember they were checking my blood sugars almost every hour until I told them I had a pump and my own CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor) and that I can just tell them what my blood sugar was without them needing to poke me and they were very grateful about that as they also didn’t want to keep poking me once an hour! So that was cool!

It was my first time being admitted to the hospital and my first overnight stay in the hospital. Never thought this would have happened to me but I am grateful for the mindset I had all along:

Whatever happens, happens. I need to just go with the flow. A birth plan is just a plan. I need to hope for the best and try to prepare for the worst.

Pregnancy with Diabetes

My Birth Story – Part I

Diana Barreto

Story time!

It’s Monday, July 24, 2023 and maternity leave is set to start in less than two weeks. I am excited as I have started to wrap things up at work and I am looking ahead to focusing on organizing the baby’s nursery, washing the rest of the baby clothes that are 0-3 months, setting up toys, putting away baby clothes that are 3 months and up, etc.

I get ready for work as usual (I start work at 9 am and I am working from home) and go to use the restroom and notice some clear liquid on my underwear. I don’t think much of it and just notice it and then start work. About 2 hours pass and I need to use the restroom and notice some more clear liquid again. I then google it and per google, it could be watery discharge which is normal. I decide to keep working. It’s now lunchtime, 12:30 pm, and I use the restroom again and more clear liquid. I decide to let my husband know and how it’s been showing up since this morning and he suggested I call the nurse advice line just to be cautious. [He later told me he knew what it meant but didn’t want to worry me].

I call the nurse advice line and speak with the nurse and she goes, “It’s probably nothing but if you’d like, you can go to the hospital just to make sure.” I let her know the hospital where I am supposed to delivery is about a 30 minute drive and she said it wasn’t anything emergent and I should be fine to go to my designated hospital. I thank her and tell my husband what she said and he replies, “I think we should go.” I give a little push back and he continues to lightly insist so I give in and say, “Okay fine, we’ll go. I’ll let my job know that I will be out for the rest of the day.”

I teams message my medical assistant and clinic manager and I start packing up. For whatever reason, I decide to take my hospital bag with me which had been packed a week ago. It also happened to be the baptism of my goddaughter so I remember telling my husband, “after the hospital, we can go straight to the baptism.” I take the gifts that I had bought and put them in a bag.

As we are getting in the car to leave, my husband casually says, “I think we should go to Pomona Valley Hospital, it’s closer.” I reply back that the nurse said it was fine and that we can go to Queen of the Valley. He makes a slight scowl and starts the car. As we were on the freeway, I said, “Okay, fine, let’s go to Pomona Valley.”

We head to Pomona Valley Hospital Medical Center and I check in at the OB floor as earlier instructed. They then triage me and place me in a small room. I am texting my husband every step of the way as they had him wait in the OB waiting room. I decide to not text my parents and sister just yet as I was convinced it was nothing and we’d be leaving shortly. Mind you, my parents were in Mexico visiting family.

I am attended by a resident and I let her know whats been happening and what the nurse said when I called the nurse advice line. She says okay and tells me it’s probably nothing. I then see her talking to who I assume is the attending and then she comes back shortly after and says they’re going to do a pelvic exam.

They do the pelvic exam and the cotton swab they take out is black. I look at the resident and ask what it meant (I don’t remember feeling concerned). The nurse then said it means a rupture of my membranes. I don’t fully capture what that means and I ask if I can leave soon. The nurse says no and leaves. She then comes back and I ask again how much longer until I can leave and she goes, “you’re not leaving anytime soon.” I ask if I will be capable of returning to work tomorrow and then she stops and looks at me and says, “You can’t go home. You need to stay until you deliver.”

My son’s estimated due date is September 7, 2023.

To be continued….